June 12, 2018 8 Comments

Marriage is hard, period. In today's world where 50% of all marriages end in divorce, there's another surprising statistic lurking right behind it. Police or law enforcement officers' marriages are even more at risk and the reason seems pretty obvious.

Here are 5 realities that cops' or law enforcement officers' spouses have to deal with on a regular basis:

1. You wait, and wait, and wait . . .

Whether they're on call, in a strategic role or on patrol, police officers work odd hours. There is no 9 to 5, and you can forget about weekends. Not only that, but these people are dedicated, hardworking and committed! They work long hours and are always ready to lend a hand, so overtime is a concept spouses need to get accustomed to. 

It takes strong values and integrity to do their job, and the majority are passionate about protecting and serving their community. As a spouse, you need to get used to the fact that their bedtime will be your morning at least once in a while and they're always ready to jump into the action.

It takes patience to be a police or law enforcement officer's spouse, but when they do have time off, they're just as dedicated to you as they are to the Blue.

2. Holidays, shmolidays

On top of the erratic hours, cops don't get to enjoy holidays like the rest of us do. Especially in their earlier years of service, you can expect them to miss Christmas, New Years, and the 4th of July.

As a spouse, you learn that dates don't mean anything: who says you have to spend Christmas on the 25th of December? You have to be flexible, and accommodate as much as possible. Move things around, celebrate a few days early or a few days late. It's a much better alternative than being alone.

3. His relationship with his partner is like nothing you will ever experience or understand

When you're a cop, you put your life in the hands of your coworkers. In any situation, you need to know and trust that your team has your back. That's why it's so important that they strengthen those bonds into friendships with regular activities.

But a cop's relationship with his partner is something else: they spend more time with this person than with their family! A good partner becomes family, and rightfully so. You'll notice they almost have a kind of secret language with obscure inside jokes and made-up expressions you will simply never understand.

As a spouse, you'll learn to laugh at their quirks and probably get just as close to your cop spouse's partner yourself. You might even notice that you have a lot more in common than you thought!

4. You Never Stop Worrying

Sure, after a few years, you might get used to the fact that your spouse literally throws themselves right into the heart of the action (and dangerous situations). As you get to know their partner and their team, you'll realize that they're in good hands, but that won't always be enough to curb the anxiety.

Every once in a while, it'll creep up on you when he's too busy on a call to let you know he'll be late coming home.

5. Your political opinions and views change

Once of the most surprising things about becoming a cop's spouse is when you become so much more aware of the realities cops and LEOs go through on a daily basis. The majority of the population takes law enforcement for granted. They can be unhappy if you're too present or not present enough - it's a pretty tough balance to strike.

Not to mention that when push comes to shove, you end up with only one thing in mind: come hell or high water, they better make it back home. It can be a little scary to realize that you don't care what it take, as long as they make it back into your arms safe and sound.

The Best Spouse You'll Ever Have

Throughout the sacrifices and the anxiety, one thing shines through: they are the most dedicated spouses and parents.

There's nothing like being married to a real life superhero and that's why the hardships are so, so worth it!

 


8 Responses

Tirza Gonzalez
Tirza Gonzalez

July 26, 2018

My husband has always been in law enforcement. It’s not easy being a LEOW . Seeing how he will leave the house not knowing what will happen, if he will come home safe or not. Not easy seeing your LEO deal with losing his friend in the line of duty. Yes ! You could only say so much . No easy seeing that blank stare when a co worker calls telling him that one of their own has been killed by a coward. It wasn’t easy seeing that look in his eye . he was a friend and classmate of the last LEO killed in Rochester NY. Not a day goes by that my husband wonders why?? Or what they could of did diff to safe his life. It’s not easy being a LEOW. When u r told by your husband that he didn’t think he was going to make it home beacause a situation he encountered it’s crazy. I pray for all my family in blue for the Lord to protect each and everyone of them. Now a Day our family in blue is targeted and we all have to have each others six. God bless our family in blue.

Sandra L Miller
Sandra L Miller

July 26, 2018

My husband went to join the Lord in 2014. We were married just shy of 50 years. He was a law enforcement officer for 27+ if those years. Believe me I lived everything that you wrote about. Without out faith it would have been a terrible life. The friendships formed through the years are for life. I am thankful for my husband’s career choice because he was able to help many people even though he saw the worse side of society. Our son has chosen to follow in his father’s footsteps for 20+ years and I pray for him everyday, too. His wife is an officer, too. This day and the times we live in have changed so much. It’s a war out there on the streets now. We all need to pray for our officers’ safety and for all of the family members at home. It’s not even safe for family members to say they are spouses of Officers. We can’t take any of their lives for granted. God Bless, Guide and Protect them all.

Sharon
Sharon

September 25, 2018

I-am not a cops wife ,but I do have a wonderful Friend who is . I pray for him and all cops to have God’s grace be with them at all times and their family’s. They are not only superheroes they are men and women that need love , kindness , support and understanding from everyone.

Sharon
Sharon

July 26, 2018

I-am not a cops wife ,but I do have a wonderful Friend who is . I pray for him and all cops to have God’s grace be with them at all times and their family’s. They are not only superheroes they are men and women that need love , kindness , support and understanding from everyone.

Sharon
Sharon

July 17, 2018

I-am not a cops wife ,but I do have a wonderful Friend who is . I pray for him and all cops to have God’s grace be with them at all times and their family’s. They are not only superheroes they are men and women that need love , kindness , support and understanding from everyone.

Kathy Hirsch
Kathy Hirsch

July 16, 2018

Wish I had read this years ago. It so very true. Once a cop or LEO it never changes, even after retirement. Love my Cop spouse of 48years!

Sharon
Sharon

July 16, 2018

My husband of 42 years passed away 9 months ago. He was a LEO for almost 25 years so I know how it feels to be a wife. Trust me it isn’t fun!!!! You never stop wondering if he will coming walking thru the door or if you get that dreaded knock at the door saying we are sorry but your husband was murdered tonight.You never get used to it!!!

Judith Ann Schauf
Judith Ann Schauf

July 16, 2018

This is so. As a a sister, sister-in-law, aunt and great aunt and hardest of all a mother it is very hard but they love it so you except it as a way of life.

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